Are you letting life make you it’s bitch? (Pardon the language).
Here are a few things that you can do to take back control of your life:
Step 1: Acknowledge the problem
So you are miserable. Or perhaps you think you get strokes of bad BAD luck… Let me tell you a secret: there is no such thing as “luck”. Bad things happen and you have control over them: you can control how you react and respond to them.
As a fun exercise, list all the problems you are having in your life in the following areas:
*when you go through each section, think: why am I not happy with this area?
- Financial: all your money issues, list each one no matter how angry/depressed they make you feel. Are you broke? Do you have an emergency fund? Have you established any goals for saving? What are you financial goals (buy a house, get out of debt, buy a more reliable car, save for baby expenses).
- Love life: partner/spouse. How often do you fight? What are the fights about? Do you have different personalities (link: how taking a personality test improved my relationship with my husband)? Are you near divorce? Do you have different parenting/financial/extended family/lifestyle ideas? Are there irreconcilable differences? List ’em all!
- Family life: separate kids into this category. Where does the stress come from? Are your kids really unruly or do you have way too much on your plate?
- Extended family: how are your connections to your mother/father/siblings/etc? Is there any relationship that could be improved?
- Work and career: are you working
- Dreams and hopes: what are you trying to achieve in your life that has not happened?
- Time management: how much free time do you have? Are you happy with the free time you have?
- Organization: do you constantly feel overwhelmed? Is your life chaotic? What is causing it to be this way?
- Fun: have you had any fun lately? Why did you chose against having fun? What are some obstacles to you having fun?
It may seem overwhelming now, but you can make it work because there is a simple way to fix it.
Focus on 3 aspects of your life
Now, pick only three aspects of your life that you would like to focus on improving.
Make SMART goals for those 3 issues
For example, if you are trying to lose weight, make a goal like this: I will lose 10 pounds by the end of August.
Put a deadline of your goal, and make sure that it is realistic. You cannot, say, lose 10 pounds in a week or fix your relationship with your husband in a month.
For relationships, try habits instead of goals. For example, if you are always short on time and stressed about always being late, remedy this by waking up earlier. Find a good enjoyable reason that motivates you to wake up and work on making it a habit. For example: I will wake up at 7:30am every morning and exercise for 30 minutes. Follow through with it even if you don’t feel like going through with it that day. For more motivation and ways to establish great habits, read “6 months to 6 figures by Peter Voogd”.
Another example to improve your relationships are: make a weekly meeting with your spouse, have a weekly date night that you will not skip, or practice being more patient or a better listener.
Get an accountability partner
Find someone who will not cut you any slack when you miss your goals. Having someone else to answer other than yourself for your actions makes you need those goals.
Finally, celebrate your wins
When you do accomplish a goal, or if you are trying to establish a habit, don’t skip the celebration. Make it a point to tell everyone how proud you are of your progress so that you don’t feel tempted to slack. And reward yourself when you reach your goal or for every week of completed habits.
A note: don’t be too hard on yourself. Change your goal as needed.
If you didn’t meet your goal, don’t just give up and throw your hands in the air. Think why your failed and adjust your goal. Make it more attainable, give yourself more time or a new deadline, seek help reaching your goal, identify possible obstacles and new ways to get past them.
Leave a comment below: what is the one goal that you would like to accomplish that can change your life for the better?